Funerals.

Recently in an interview i was asked for some more insight to the sound Funerals on the new record. I found the request odd as lyrically i don't think the song is very strong or a standout by any means and wondered what struck the interviewer that made him want to know more. Regardless i answered the question and thought it would be something some people might be interested in.


"Well the song specifically isn't just about "Funerals" as in someone being buried, Don't get me wrong its definitely a huge influence for the song, but its also about long standing parts of your life that sometimes you maybe take for granted or don't realize how important to you they are and then they're suddenly gone and it either effects your life in a huge way or is just a catalyst for a flood of emotion or realization on how much things have changed,in this case for the worse.Honestly I'm an emotional retard, its feast or famine with me I'm either completely indifferent to the point i have no idea whats wrong with me or I'm just crippled with depression or anger to the point i cant function. For this reason i usually don't attend funerals, I'm either scared ill break down or nervous i don't look upset enough when my brain is actually going a thousand miles a minute.I'm not gonna mention specific names but the one person who passed away a few years ago that really had me thinking about where i started and where i was and the huge distance between the two was a fixture in my life when i first got into punk and hardcore as well as part of the scene where i really started figuring out who i was and wanted to be as a person. When he passed i hadn't spoken to him for about a year and i was just stunned,All these memories of me running around like a psycho with my equally ridiculous friends in the essex/bergen county hardcore/punk "scene", not giving a shit about anything, starting bands, drawing tshirts, fighting, graffiti , it was honestly the best times of my life. Sneaking out of my house to walk down to Newark to the pipeline every Thursday and weekend to see any band that was playing and to just see my friends who would be there for no reason other than it was a place to go.Id wake up and know that id have to turn the brain off till i got through a day of work at a shitty job and then id get to go hang out.Id have no idea what was gonna happen but it was gonna be amazing. It was awesome and there was never any doubts or cares about anything. Somehow in the years that past as those kids went to jail or got kids or just moved away somehow i ended up somewhere else with a new group of kids and i became totally jaded and angry and violent, it just sucked. Every time one of those kids passes away or even Friends outside the scene i had at that time passes i just think if i knew how shitty life without being surrounded by the poorest,ugliest, craziest kids i knew i would've been a thousand times crazier and just appreciated it so much more.Nowadays i sit in a shitty job hating it and seething at the world watching the clock till i can go home, hug my girl watch a movie and go to bed. Occasionally ill read a comic book or something or go to a show to see a friends band, but that means immersing myself in just a see a of kids who i for the most part don't understand, don't like and for the most part completely resent, and i find myself just trying to figure how most of my adult life has been spent as a part of the new jersey hardcore/punk scene and somehow now feel completely removed from it, like I'm some kind of visitor or something.I have some good aspects of my life now, some extremely good aspects and some lifelong friends who make my life at least tolerable, but not a day goes by i don't miss those kids and that era.But i suppose that's how life is for everybody and I'm just being an old cranky bitch who knows.
Also,i for the most part kinda hate the song funerals lyrically sometimes, most songs i sit and try to write something worthwhile to represent the feelings that lead to the song, sorta invest some effort that i feel the topic is due. But then sometimes i have a page of words that just came out in gush from a really low point and i just have to use them because they may not be the most poetic stuff or even make sense but they re real and represent the emotion behind the song better than any lame rhyme i could figure out for a stupid hardcore chant."

The full interview will be appearing in Rocksound magazine in the near future, thank you to Andy Kelham.